Chapter TWO to “Horus & His Companions – The Sun The Light And The Moon”
….. First Draft: Happy reading…………
It has been some weeks later, since the conversation had been so intense and revealing.
We had met each week, but had focused upon the writing and formatting of Lucia’s book. I had been wondering what had been happening with her, but she said nothing to me. I knew or felt I knew, from the way she came across to me that she was both calm and tense. An odd combo – even for her. Each week was the same, but today, she seemed to be especially focused as if she were walking on egg shells around me.
I sat there, leaned back in my chair looking at her silently.
She looked up at me. She was now too, experiencing the silence, that I had created. I then felt like I had made it known I was ready to listen, but to what?
“Lucia, we have gotten a lot done on your book, it is coming along,” I said, feeling my whole body resting there in the chair. As if I were taking in the whole of the warm patio calmness. “You haven’t told me anything about how I fit into your predicament. The one, I feel, you are still living with now.”
I saw a slight smile pass over Lucia’s lips. She picked up the white paper napkin from off the table. Appearing to both wipe the smile from her lips and prepare for what it was she had been waiting to tell me.
“I was unsure if you wanted to talk, Gemma,” Lucia said, now re-positioning her self in a more relaxed position in her patio chair.
I cleared my throat, having not expected, that I would have to take the lead in this conversation. “I was curious. You had said what had been happening to you was also important to me.”
Lucia said, “I did not want to impose on you. You have been supportive of me. Supporting my passion for writing.”
“So what had happened to you has stopped?” I said, picking up my pen to appear to have something to focus upon, though I was totally focused on her. Partly due to my frustration now. I wanted to know what I had to do, with what was happening to her. It had affected me, though I thought it could be my imagination making something of what she had said a few weeks ago to me.
“You are really interested then?” Lucia said, taking in a deep breath.
“Yes, Lucia, what you said of a few weeks ago has affected me.” I said, now more hopeful she would say something to give me relief.
Lucia settle more into her chair. She said, “He said you would ask. That I had to wait until you asked, because you would be able to listen then to what I needed to say.”
Lucia went on, “It makes things more real to me. Sometimes I think I am going a bit crazy. I don’t necessarily trust everything I think I am hearing. You wanting to hear more confirms the reality of my situation. What has been happening to me.”
“I am glad to have helped you. So now confirm for me, what I feel.” I said, now feeling in my body what was like a wave of tingling moving from my feet up to my throat and out my head. A sip of ice tea helped me get through it.
“I was in my bedroom writing at my desk. I was thinking over the dreams of the night before. Since my sister and her daughter live with me, I can’t talk too loudly for fear of being over heard. I do not discuss anything with them, they would not understand. They could not help me anyway.” Lucia said, now sipping some sweet tea herself. “I whispered into the air, how I wished I knew for sure his name. It was then I heard an answer, but not from him.”
“So you know his name now?” I said, feeling I was back on track in settling this thing.
“Yes, I think so. Names are important you know. But it was overwhelming. I heard the voice in my head, I knew was from the goddess I work with. That is not something I had expected.” Lucia said, looking at me for a sign of belief.
“Go on Lucia, what did the goddess say to you?” I said.
“She said that his name was Alec. She said remember when I gave him to you and you to him?” Lucia said, with her eyes looking off into the near by woods, but her mind plainly afar off in that moment.
Lucia said, “I remembered the day in my garden. I was pulling weeds from around my ornamental grass, when I felt a message. I would get messages from my meditation master, that would calm me. He was known for that. I had only met him once before he had to go back to India. He told me he had come specifically to see me. That we were connected to one another. He even spoke in English to me, when all of his handlers had said he could not. This message started with him, but ended with the words coming from the Goddess Aset. I knew it was her. She said, ‘I give you my son Horus to be your husband. He has always been your husband and protector.’ I asked what does this mean mother? She said, ‘You are the wife of Horus, my daughter.’ I was then back in my room from that memory, about to sit down at my desk. It was then when I felt the incredible love come over me again. I whispered, I know your name and who you are. He said, ‘I know.’ I still think I do not have your name pronunciation right. When I thought that, Alec said, “Does it matter? You will hear my name soon when you are here, my dear.”
I was watching as much as I was listening to Lucia. I also believed her. I knew she was telling the truth about a very real thing.
“My path with Aset had been very one sided. I had even grew very ill from working with a shrine I had developed for her. I know now the situation had been two edged, one being me not being accepting of my self, that I could be accepted by a goddess. Then there was the unknowns of spiritual changes and symptoms that came naturally with that work, that had been unknown to me.” Lucia said, “But I can see from how you are looking at me I am not telling you what it is you want to know.”
I thought how did she know exactly how I felt at this point in this very strange conversation? “Please tell me more…. I am ok.”
Lucia said with a slight embarrassed smile. “I said his name out loud. It felt pretty good to have something to call him. Especially since we had been….”
I picked up on this hesitation from Lucia. I did not need nor want any barriers between her and I. Since I knew her and human nature. If she felt unable to share the most intimate of details with me, I would not get the answers I would need. I felt I needed to do something now, while the barrier was so evident.
I said, “Lucia, you have to feel comfortable in telling me everything. You owe me that much. I know what you say is very real. Things have been happening to me. Like dreams and deja vu things. I am looking for answers. Maybe my answers will help you somehow have more confidence in what you are experiencing.”
“We have been intimate. It has been incredible. I have not been with anyone in years. Even with him not being here physically, the sex we share is incredible. He told me it has always been.” Lucia paused, now fidgeting in her chair slightly with the realization that it may have been too much information for me.
“Thank you for telling me. Maybe I can help you there,” I said. It was odd that I would remember more dream details right then. Dreaming was not that way. They usually left one’s mind as awaking became the conscious moment. “I know you two are intimates. I am very confident in that. I have seen it in my dreams. I remember this now. I also know that you know of my past. My past in this place where he wants to take you to.” This was as surprising to me as it was to her. I fell silent, as I sorted out how I felt at that moment. I felt too that I had just jumped down the rabbit hole, something I had rarely done in the past. Really if at all, until now.
“You have truly helped me Gemma. Now I know I am not going nuts, that you know about what is happening to me.” Lucia said, in a whisper.
I nodded, still feeling what I had said.
“How are you two intimates, if you are here and he is where ever he is?” I asked, I felt I needed to ask.
“I was never good at it in the past. I did not see much use in it.” Lucia said, “He guides me with the touching of myself. Through masturbation. When I am alone for an evening in the house he asks me to come to him and I do. I am unsure of how to get where we need to go, but he has each time provided the sensations I need to climax, I believe as he does too.”
I was astonished. I kept from her, to myself, a couple of the vividly sexual dreams I have had of recent that ended well for me, with persons I felt I had known well, from long ago. I sat there dumbfounded. I wanted to know more, but I was unable to put together a thought. I sat in silence and hoped she would understand.
I finally said, “Do you know who I am? Has he mentioned me?” I did not take my eyes off of her. I could not. I had to hear an answer. Maybe I was going mad too.
“Yes. You are here for nearly the same reason as my self in this life time…. in this world.” Lucia said, again as if she were testing the waters of my emotions with this information dump. “You are a part of a companion group of three, you being the second. Sometimes you are a part of the group I and Alec make up as the third. Companion groups are always intimates as far as I have heard, …. so far.”
I sat there digesting the information. That there were two others in my group who were intimates with me. Then as I looked at her face, it dawned on me what she said. That at times I was also apart of her group of three, when a member had been missing…. that groups are intimate with each other.
She nodded slowly at me, as if she could read my mind or was it her companion telling her what I suspected?