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“if you don’t know…” Chapter 29 (1st draft)…
Horus and His Companions The Sun The Light & The Moon…
We arrived home. I pulled the truck around to the side gate, so as to shield from view my parents getting out and into the house through the back patio. Mid morning was beautiful. There was a slight breeze. I saw hummingbirds on the feeder off the patio. My mind wandered to Adeer, I wondered what the weather was like there? That was good, for me since that met I was focused on reality as it was. I was not feeling the separation I feared. Then in my head I got an answer to my question. I felt I heard that, ‘the weather is cool enough to feel comfortable’. I thought, ‘Alec?’ I got a ‘Yes.’ I felt my heart soar, with this realization.
“Gemma, what is going on?” Dad said to me. Dad was in the kitchen having a glass of water as the cat sat near his feet.
“Dad just some chat happening. I got a question answered.” I said, with a smile.
“What question?” Dad said. I felt Dad settling in to the situation with calmness.
“I had asked how the weather was in Adeer. I got an answer from Alec,” I said. I looked at Dad for his reaction.
“Why is that important?” Dad said, as he bent to pet the cat.
“Because there is no separation between me and them. Between me and home…” I said. I looked for Mother to make sure she was safely settled in the house too. I had told her where their room was.
I found Mother standing in front of the open closet, with the suitcases open, but not unpacked.
“Should I unpack, Gemma?” Mother said, to me. I felt a bit of fear and uncertainty in the room.
“That is a good question. I do not know how long the rest of what it is I must do will take Mom,” I said. That was a good question. I thought it silly to ask Alec. More than likely he would not answer it either.
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“Hey, just leave the suitcases packed. We can decide later. How about some lunch? Let’s see what I have in the cupboards and the freezer. Come on. Just sit the luggage in the closet, that is good enough,” I said. I grabbed one of the suitcases and place it over in the corner. Mother put the one she held next to that one.
Dad had decided he wanted breakfast. So I made some scrambled eggs and toast. Mother placed the pot on for coffee. Then the both of them sat at the kitchen table that looked out on to the patio. I finally had the eggs done and brought the grape jelly to the table too.
“How do you two feel?” I asked. I did not want to overwhelm them. I didn’t think I would, but I had the feeling in my chest to watch for that.
Dad said, “Gemma, you have given us many answers to our questions, that we both have had to live with so far over the last few weeks.”
“I am so happy to be here with you Gemma right now. I am relieved how this nightmare turned out for us too. I was very afraid of what may have happened. I still don’t get everything you are talking about, though.” Mother said.
“I can answer your questions… or I can tell you what I know. I just don’t want to worry you or wear you out at this point.” I said to them.
Mother said, “What would we ask you?”
Dad said, “Gemma, as things happen we can ask then. Just tell us what you feel we should know right now to help you.”
I got where they were coming from, apparently Alec and Marta did too.
“At this point, with what I know, there are at the least three things coming up. I have Dr. Proctor to discuss his departure from this world back to home. I now have Dr. Andre to figure out. On top of this is us. Keeping us organized and ready to depart,” I said. I was looking closely at them to make sure we were still all in agreement, on the same page.
“Yes, all important. But where is exactly home for us, Gemma? Where will this land us?” Dad asked.
Oh Gods, I hoped this would turn out well. I must answer in a reasonable way these questions. I remembered my questions and my concerns about my own personal sanity in the past.
“Dad, you have to trust me on this one. I know where we are going. I have been there. It is home. There are a whole lot of people waiting for your and Mother’s arrival back. You will remember when you get home I promise,” I said, I looked at them with as much reassurance as I could put out there for them. I felt in my chest my own reassurance too. Good, that helped me.
“Gemma, as they say, we have your back in this. We will rest now. You have this all planned out with your group. So we will just rest for now,” Dad said. He took my Mother’s hand. I hoped Mother was reassured by this?
Mother said, “Gemma, I think your Dad just needs some rest right now. We support what it is you are doing for all of us. Just let us know what we must do.”
“Mom, you and Dad need to go get some rest. Hey just go into the bed room, sack out, I am fine. I will let you know when things start happening again. If you feel something let me know, just come to me I will be here in the house. None of us should go outside or leave the house. If you think you have to do that, come get me, ok?” I said.
I was finally alone to think, but was that such a good idea. I was not as tired as I thought I would be. Then I had a sense of anticipation. I got up and walked around the house looking out the windows where I had the blinds pulled shut all ready and any doors communicating to the outside were checked to be locked. I then decided to take a quick shower.
I stripped down, it felt good not to have stuff on. I was a bit chilled. I got the shower going. I stood there allowing the water to run over my hand. My mind drifted into the memory of my first shower at home in my room. My anticipation of what Mark would do next…. the water was warm on my hand now, so I got in. I focused on the water rushing over my body. My attention was now in my chest, feeling out what had happened so far, with those I could not see, but I felt. Anticipation was still there. I had a sense that I was prepared for what was going to happen soon. Then I almost had to laugh, as I turned off the water to get out and dry off. I felt the answer to a previous question, about the luggage. I heard ‘keep packed, ready.’ Ok, I thought. Things were moving then faster than I had thought.
I put on a silky thing I had gotten in Japan. A pseudo-kimono, covered in pale peonies in silk. It felt good. I also still looked decent in it if there were company soon. I was in the kitchen looking at the food, what I could cook up for guests. I found some soup, some french bread and some cheese tortellini. I also found a creamy marinara sauce to dump on top. Butter, I had butter too. Gods, I must have shopped before I had left that day to take Lucia to Whatcom lake? I turned and went to the window out beside the house, I felt I had to take a look. I also felt, a ‘no’. What does that mean?
I asked out loud, “No?”
I got instantly, that ‘someone else had did the shopping, I would find everything I needed right there… watch out back you will have a visitor, bring them in quietly…’
Gods, it does pay to ask.
I stood there watching.
A silver Toyota Tacoma pickup drove in slowly beside my truck on the gravel. Apparently, I felt they had the same idea… they did not want to be seen from the road, when they arrived.
It was Dr. Andre.
I looked at the clock it was 4pm, he had made good time, and he had broke away early. What was pushing him?
I went to the patio french doors then out to the gate opening it. Dr. Andre was standing there with his cell phone to his ear, obviously trying to figure out what he was to do next, sort of thing.
I got his attention and motioned him to the gate.
Andre came quickly, he grabbed a black backpack from the passenger side. Walked toward me with his cell phone still up to his ear.
“Gemma,” Andre said in a low tone of voice with his hand over the edge of his phone… “Good to see you here.”
I showed him the way back behind the house on the covered patio, through the french doors.
“Good to see you here too, are you ok?” I asked. I sensed something off or up at this point.
Andre then without saying anything into the phone tapped a few numbers on the cell phone and then ended the call apparently.
“I was listening to messages, then turned them over to the group I work with,” Andre said. He came into the house then tossed his pack into a kitchen chair. He went over to the sink, apparently looking for a glass. I opened the cupboard door, with him taking out a glass, then taking some water from the sink. He drank it deeply.
I thought again I must ask him what is up with his early arrival?
“Dr. Andre, you must have something going on or on your mind? What is happening?” I asked him.
Andre looked at me. He leaned against the counter with that glass of water in his hand.
“Gemma, you look great,” Andre said. Then I sensed he was embarrassed that this just popped out. I got now where he was from… home.
“Yeah, I do, a lot of people at home say the same thing,” I said. Then I felt bold adding. “You may know a few of them.”
“I don’t know where to begin. Your arrival. I mean even the meeting of your aunt and uncle has set off a chain of events for me. Let me introduce myself. My name is Gil. Gil Andre, I am from the Seattle area,” Andre said.
It hit me just then… Gil? I knew him. I also had some pretty strong feelings about him. I stood there just looking at him, not reading him, but myself. Yes, it was all good.
“What do you mean?” I asked him.
Then I said, “Gil, are you hungry I can get dinner started. Do you need to use the bathroom?”
“Gemma, I need to get settled for a bit. Honestly I am not thinking very straight. This trip has been so out of character for me, so unexpected. But the practice owes me big time, so I took the time off. Yes, can you show me to that room you offered?” Gil said. He retrieved the backpack and followed me out into the front foyer then down the hall way to the guest room.
“Here you go. You have a private bathroom over there. Just lay your stuff anywhere. Get comfortable. Try to keep it down my parents are sleeping right now…” I said. I saw him react a bit to the word ‘parents’. I also noticed he let it go… he must be another over thinker like me I thought as I shut his door.
I went back out into the kitchen, the suspense was killing me. I knew him. I felt I really knew him. I would have to wait until this unfolded for him. I was hoping that it would happen right now, not take too long… then my cell phone rang. Gods, I hoped it wasn’t a client, but I had thought it odd I had not received any calls, since I was back here.
The screen had no caller ID, it was just blank.
I hit the button to answer.
I said, “Hello.”
“Gemma,” the voice said. I was all over this call.
“Alec is this you?” I asked. I held that phone tightly against my ear. I was excited, but also knew it was pretty serious for him to be calling.
“Yes, dear it is me. I wish I could talk more. I can say everyone here is fine, we think you are doing incredible, Brad and Brian loves you… I love you. Now to business. Andre, will be important to you, in what you will do next. I can not tell you anything about him, but that. Trust me on this. You must keep him there in the house. We have drove him to come to you. Who he is will become evident to the both of you. If you figure it out first guide him. He may figure it out before you. Yes, he knows all of us very well. He must stay, there in the house… because the familiar is coming. Andre will not be a liability. He will be a physical back up for you. Keep him there, Gemma,” Alec said. I could tell time was short for our conversation, shorter than I ever wanted.
“Alec, I will do my best. I feel what you are saying. Just help me keep my parents alive. If I have to risk me for them, I am willing, I consent,” I said into the phone. I hoped he was still there to hear me.
“…Gemma, you don’t need to say that. I would never ask anyone ever again to do that, do you hear me?” Alec said. I felt how serious he was. I felt his love… a bit of passion, in his voice.
“Yes, I promise, Alec. I will be careful. I know you got this planned out,” I said. I hoped that helped him as much as he helped me.
“Good, Gemma. I have to go now. This is a long distance call you know…” Alec said. Then the line went to dial tone. He couldn’t say good bye to me. I got this.
I heard a voice behind me.
“Gemma, you getting calls too? I hope I did not interrupt…” Gil said.
“No, no, you didn’t interrupt anything,” I said to him as I lay the cell phone back on its platform charger on the kitchen counter.
“Can I help you with anything?” Gil said to me.
“You hungry Gil?” I asked. Clues everywhere, all around this guy.
“Yes, I am. I can pack it away too. Must be all the running I normally do along Lake Washington. You a runner Gemma?” Gil asked. He washed his hands in the sink, apparently preparing to help me to make dinner. He was amazing. He didn’t even realize it yet. I thought about what Brad and Alec had to go through with me in my self discovery?
“Yeah, I run, swim and do martial arts. But I haven’t since living here,” I said.
I handed him the tortellini. He read the package, then started looking for the pot and colander.
“You like to cook, Gil?” I asked.
“Yes, I even took a few classes too,” Gil said.
“Gil, why are you here?” I asked him once he had the boiling of the tortellini under control and I had the bag of marinara sauce in the boiling water.
“I am trying to figure that out myself. I, again, don’t know where to begin,” Gil said.
I thought to myself I will follow the same route I did with my parents, let him figure it out by answering some questions. Something triggered him to bring him to me.
“So when did all this start happening to you?” I asked. I had hoped it was enough to ask and not be so specific to make him not want to answer me.
“I met your ‘parents’ in the emergency department when Dr. Proctor had asked me to consult. I thought it odd, since I am not usually consulted until the patient had been admitted to the ICU,” Gil said. He was again in that spot where Alec last spoke to me, leaning against the kitchen counter. I stood where I was. I wanted to be eye to eye with him, feel him. I wanted to be on my feet for the second part of this thing, when the familiar finally showed up.
“Yes, that would be odd, I assume,” I said.
“I feel I know you. I feel I know them. That is the problem, Gemma,” Gil said. I felt he was in trouble mentally over this.
“Why is that a problem? Don’t people experience that all the time?” I asked him, to push him along in his train of thought.
“No that would not be a problem if it was that simple. This is not deja vu. I feel I am missing something, that I know you. I hope this does not make you feel uncomfortable, Gemma. I am definitely not a stalker type, I am too busy for such things,” Gil said.
“So why are you here then? Are you trying to feel your way through this? Maybe put this notion to the test this evening?” I asked. I was watching him closely. I felt we were about at the point of jumping down the rabbit hole… boy had I been there myself.
Gil looked around the room, like there were others who may hear him.
“I do know you, Gemma. I know your parents. They are your parents? Not your aunt and uncle. Right?” Gil asked.
“Would that make a difference?” I asked. I looked him straight in the eye.
“Yes it would,” he said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because of my dreams. I saw your parents in my dreams, they were dying… in a strange place, a place of war. I was powerless to stop it. I was without a body. I was dead…. then I saw you.” Gil said. I could hardly hear him. He was now I felt back in the vision again.
“Gil, tell me what you see… what do you feel?” I walked over to him, standing about a foot away from him. I felt in my chest I had to push harder this man who was attempting to keep it together.
“Gemma, I see you. You are dying too. I am powerless to stop this. I see me… maybe it is me beside you. I am face down, I am afraid my face is gone,” Gil said, he was clenching his fists, they were turning white with the loss of circulation.
“Gil, who are you?” I asked. I felt tears in my own eyes. His memory in my head was on the tip of my tongue, but I could not remember. Gods…
“Gemma, I don’t know,” Gil said. Now I saw him beginning to shake in his shoulders, not from fear, but from sadness.
I thought, how can I help him, if I can’t even help myself to remember this soul standing in front of me?
Then I felt a question to ask him, there was great love with it.
“Gil… Who am I?” I asked him.
“The one I love… the one I lost… the one I could not protect,” Gil said. His eyes were closed to me.
“Gods, Gil I know who you are… you gotta help me protect my parents, please…” I said. I was shaking. My hands were hot as if on fire themselves. I rubbed them together to cool them off.
“Gemma, who am I?” Gil pleaded, still with eyes closed.
“Tell me who am I, Gil?” I asked as I stared at him, he must say it, he must.
“You are Princess Gemma. I failed you that day. I failed your parents… I had to save your father, I was able, too. Because the dark ones are back… they are here… I will not let them hurt you,” Gil said.
“Gil open your eyes, look at me, I am here. I need your help,” I said, but I still didn’t know who he was? Gods why is that important that we not know who he is? WHY? I racked my brain. I got no answer from Alec or Marta.
Gil opened his tear stained eyes, looked at me, saying, “Who I am at the moment is unimportant, it is what we must be ready for, Gemma. I am here and I am ready.”
“Ready to do what Gil? How will you do this thing? This hard thing?” I asked. I was shaken to my core. Did Alec mean for me to react this way? Was I messed up and loosing this?
“What ever it is you need me to do Gemma I will do it. I know I can,” Gil said, he moved closer to me. He was debating I could tell as to what to do and what he wanted to do.
I reached out to him. I walked into him like I had done many times with Alec, Brad, Brian, Mark and Greg. I held him in my arms. He pushed his face into my neck. I felt his erection just then between my legs.
“Gemma, I am so sorry I am this way,” Gil said. He held me tighter and closer.
“I was counting on you doing just what you are doing now, Gil. No apology needed,” I whispered into his ear.
I pulled him into the day room off the kitchen and sat him on the couch. I wanted him to recover himself. He was weak. His head leaned back on the back of the couch.
I went back into the kitchen to save dinner off the stove. Then took some water back to him in his glass.
“Gemma, don’t you ever do that again to me, leaving me,” Gil said. Looking up at me from where he was. Still weak.
“When you can remember who you are, tell me Gil,” I asked. I sat down next to him and gave him sips of the cool water from the glass.
“Does it matter. I think we know enough, for what is coming,” Gil said. Then he placed his arms around me.
“You mean who, is coming,” I said. I felt a heat rush from my head to my vulva with his touch.
“Dr. Proctor, I heard was also planning on making a patient care visit this evening. That is why I had to get here first Gemma. His office called me as a courtesy, thank god they did. I gotta shake this feeling. I want to help you. I don’t care who I am, I know who you are. What you mean to me,” he said to me.
I got to thinking. Then it dawned on me. He won’t ask, I must get him primed to do this with me. It will heal and energize him. He is in transition. I need him now, top speed.
“Gil follow my lead, we have to do this fast. Of course not as slow as I would want to do this with you. But we gotta get this done. It will strengthen you…” I said. I pulled at his jeans zipper, exposing what was already there. I pulled myself over his erection, slowly sitting myself down on it. I began to rock gently. I felt it emerging deeper into me.
“Gemma, we don’t have protection on… Yes this is what I wanted, God…” Gil said, now he was lost and focused only on what was happening between us. I was hot, very hot I had to pull off that damn kimono thing. I slung it off. Gil had my right breast in his mouth. That sent me in to more motion to get him to respond more with his hands on my waist. He moaned, his moaning turned into deep voiced yowling. My parents would hear this… Gods he is a Lyran male! I came hard on his cock, the rhythmic spasms of my twat on his cock set him off coming deep inside me. I leaned over him and he pushed hard at me with his head, hands and pelvis. We had only coupled for about 5 minutes, but he was no longer weak. He was clinging to me. He was tender. He wanted out from under me, because he knew my parents probably had heard his calls.
“Gil, calm down. I doubt my parents will be out here. I kinda told them already what to expect. So you go shower off. I will stand guard. We will have to take turns in everything, until this situation is settled,” I said to Gil as he stood up then gave me a hand to stand up too… “Yeah, I would love to shower with you, but I also know how time consuming that is….”
Gil went off toward the foyer and down the hallway. I heard his door latch quietly behind him. Gods, I was busy in the other world. I needed that, but who is he? Why can’t I remember?
I turned right side out that kimono, then put it on. I pulled back my hair and twisted a knot into it. I went out into the kitchen to rescue dinner. It seemed perfect. Really we had been fast.
Gil was back out in the kitchen within fifteen minutes.
“Gemma, can I do something, like set the table?” Gil said.
“Yeah, go ahead. I will go tell my parents dinner is ready. Then I hope to convince them to be in their room when the visitor arrives. I just hope Dad agrees… If he knows you are here, he may,” I said.
“Who do you tell him that I am? You don’t even know. I can’t remember. How does any of that help?” Gil said.
“It does for some reason… we gotta trust that there is a reason,” I said.
As I went to wake up my parents for dinner I heard in my head and chest…’if you don’t know, it will not know’. Gods, the answer. I felt relaxed. Once again Alec was one step ahead. Protecting all of us. Setting it up so that the familiar had room to think, to guess, maybe to consent to what it was I needed to do for it.