Two Blue Wings

As I sit here today, my life is evolving from out of the chaos of the human drama around me. The mundane and what comes to me unexpected. This is from where I want to explain some things to you. I will also not use complex words or ideas to explain, because you don’t need a jumble of academic sounding crap to meet the needs you have right now. I know this because I have experienced the disconnected feelings, tried to make sense of human life events happening… the real memories I possess from early childhood. I want to share the results with you, that I have received so far.

I have been just moving along, alone, in this physical body with the memories I have. I am still what people would call suicidal, but I am not likely to act on this. We each carry with us memories of where we came from and the motivations we had, that arose from where we each came from. Suicidal would match perfectly with how I got here, if you have been reading the rest of this ‘story’ you would know what I mean. But like I said earlier I will just say it plainly. I was killed in battle, a battle I won, a battle I was prepared for by my group. I did not care what happened to me, I cared only for the outcome. The outcome was an end to the immediate danger of enslavement of my world and other worlds, all these worlds being seen as lesser or somehow not sentient or equal with other worlds. That an excuse. An excuse for other worlds to ignore this conflict and say it is only ours to endure without intervention. A conflict that also eventually included those too arrogant to help. These arrogant were approached for help and warned that the conflict would eventually spread to their worlds which it did. If you want to look it up there are memories of those considered crazy or just so much wild imagination, but the key words to look this up with are “The Electric Wars”. I was led to this information one day, when I had asked Alec some direct questions, that is what I found. The time was right apparently, synchronicity that is, in me being able to handle the information. Yep, you can call me crazy too. I live with all of this each day, I am becoming more comfortable with it too. I know who I am. The next step is for me is to find out “who or what” was behind all of this destruction, this enslavement of peoples, this attitude, my death. I died ending the chance for the dark ones who I know, did not understand, they were being influenced by powers and consents they had made with something “else”. I am not talking about mythological stories of the fight of “good and evil”. I would not waste my time on that. This is real. It is a constant threat. It is a constant threat for this Earth, Humanity. The threat is veiled in human ignorance and religious excuses. Earth is also being protected, there is a stand off. But Earth is just being put on hold for the same result. Like a cupboard that has not been opened yet, placed in reserve for the future. Oh yes there are experiments being done here, agreements being made by humans with aliens. But that is not the real future of Earth, yet. But I get ahead of myself.

What can I say here, which would help you immediately?

Let me complete the thought I was having. The Earth has many special qualities and a population that is unique in its drama here. There have been manipulation of the population and the physical Earth. All of this done with the curtain of ignorance in place. There are differing factions of governments who think they are in the know, think they are free to make decisions, profitable decisions. But these human governments are not in the know, nor are they making the ultimate decision. Yes, the governments can threaten the E.Ts. Yes, humans can kill aliens. But that is nothing. Just the cost of doing business for Alien races who are guided by the “what or who” themselves. Humans are very violent. They are war like. They are punishing of what is different from themselves, but they are driven by profit, the technology gains that they could sell or use on their human enemies. I know this for a fact, I have spoke with aliens who pity humans. The innovations aliens wish to share to relieve human suffering, turned down by humans who only want to research the technology, but not use it out in the public. For example access to health care through body scanning, which would cost nothing and pin point what health needs an individual could have. Non-pharmaceutical means of curing disease through light, time and vibration. Many more things. Painless ways of helping humans live on this planet. But governments would not know how to explain these technologies to the populations and there is always the money / profit angle too. Then there is politics, not wanting to help all humans, but only a chosen few. Aliens are here. They are experimenting on humans, some have the right motives others have more personal motives. The human population is kept in the dark, for profit and for convenience of experimentation. Humans continue to war with each other, kill each other, have no unity, have no equality, all are discriminating and finding differences to hate… the drama that distracts humans from what the true goals are for this planet. All a nature that keeps us focused on a purpose, made / benefiting a few, for humans who think they are in the know for their own profit, for the aliens who think they know for their benefit. Can we solve this problem, that is the next thing you must know about yourself here.

I in this human body know that my humanness guides me in how I survive here. I am able to function as a human in this world. I look human. I was bound up with the vision of humanity. I have been harmed by humans as a human both in childhood and as an adult. I strived as a human to gain higher education. I searched for meaning in religions and other disciplines of humanity.

The difference was I had memories, strong memories of who I was and who loved me. I always had the call in my body of where I would go, where I came from. This never matched the nice neat packages of belief and reality given me by humans, who could not prove that all the myths of being rewarded for doing good would pay off. Humans don’t reward anyone for good, they reward for violent actions, only the strong take power over the weak. We all know this. There is no human story of good over evil, it is the strong, regardless if they are good or evil in perception. But I had these my memories of other worlds. We are what we are, who we were, what we will be again.

Since you are reading this I will tell you something else. You are different, you are not from here, you have experiences you can not explain and you have useless memories, but still memories you want to know why you have them?

So we will start there.

Are these memories useless? What do we do with them?

Yes, most definitely do something with these memories. The most important thing to understand, is that after you have ran all over the world, asking your questions and reading, you will find you have even more questions. It will be frustrating. You will definitely know you are different. You will be even more determined to understand. You will probably be using what you have around you to research, to dig out the why of your situation. Yes it is important to use all the tools around you, but remember… it is so important to remember, that you are using what you have as a human to try to find answers which are alien, the alien you. This will not match up well, but that is all you have right now. So things like religion, superstitions, what is human right and wrong, morality, human reality, human goals, will influence what you look at and what you assume. If you know this now, it will save on the frustration. There are no miracles… no ‘Come To Jesus’ moments… these are only so much human thought, the way humans think to keep everything just as they are now and you as a human under control. But you have some memories that keep pushing you, and experiences that are beyond coincidence that happen to you. Are you crazy… no. Are we crazy by human standards, yes. But again, are we really? Or what we have been told, and what is in our body genetics… maybe these are the lies and the crazy. I think it is crazy to kill others over stupid shit. But our governments who are suppose to represent us, can use any excuse to invade a community of humans and kill all of them for any reason and say it is a gods’ mission or the right thing to do to justify their actions. Now that is crazy! So in this human body, you have to be particular with what you ‘believe’. I don’t believe, I think, I test, I question, I look for results. I am who I am, and I am only ‘influenced’ by my humanness, I am really who I am stuck in this human drama, this human body. Especially being locked in a human female body with all that means, and the barriers. It is crazy too that on this Earth there are more females than males, but males are dominating due to their violent tendencies. Look again too, that presently there are no female deities and if there are those female deities mentioned they are seen as backward and primitive by most of societies. So again the differences that kept the violent drama going on this Earth. The excuses. Have you not thought that maybe this violence has a purpose? An alien agenda purpose? But I must assure you that the galaxies and the outer-worlds have violence too. But the violence is used as a controlling force, and is not so freely used, there are rules. But even out in the outer worlds, when it does happen, the violence due to profit and differences, the results are massive. You have read so far what my work as a Guardian had been. My beloved continues this work, we are a group of powerful negotiators, negotiators the many of the outer worlds would like to ignore due to their own planetary agendas. There are many councils to work with, there are many worlds to heal, to educate. I will be doing the work again.

Now getting to the here and now for you and for me. What are we to do in the mean time?

Let me tell you what is happening right now. Earth has not been over run with aliens and agendas yet for two reasons.

First I know as fact there were events of recent that brought humanity and earth into a ‘deadly’ problem. An alien problem. The alien communities are always talking to each other, always at odds. There are some with the agenda for peace and for supporting other communities to find their way. There are some who may possibly offer equality to humans within the communities, but this is very rare. But the over all view of most is that Earth is an interesting experiment to observe or to actually be hands on in.

You and me come into play. For what ever reason you have been placed here, you are a valuable being here. Your presence being here means each alien race who is waiting for you to return because of you, your energy and your experiences are valuable to them. You are beloved to them, whether right now you feel that or not. Your presence here means that Earth will not be destroyed again anytime soon. There are enough of us alien types in human bodies to protect the Earth from alien destruction. Our groups want us to come home. We have always been here. For Centuries. But we are also preparing to go home at some point. So the Earth has us as contamination, a good type of contamination. We are here. Our origin family, our origin worlds will not allow us to be enslaved or destroyed. But as you well know, we suffer each day as humans and we are in this human wilderness. There are no set rules, except birth and death, the rest just so much drama. I believe the drama has a purpose too. That we as alien can benefit from these experiences… but that is not the reason for this drama. The reason is much more mundane and is connected to the “what and who” I told you about, this “what and who” that must be exposed. This drama is just so much manipulation for alien benefit and research as well as for entertainment. There are many layers to this complicated life here. But as those from other worlds, you and me, we don’t buy into it and we are always doing what we have always done. In my case I am a healer, a negotiator, an ambassador, a guardian who calls out the shit and gives alternatives to the beings I work with… but right now my memories are not all back, I do not have my energy to back up my words and to create the actions, my hands are tied by this human drama and the genetics I must suffer with. Really I hate being here. I am just waiting. That comes to the next point….

You and I do not have to make any sense of this at all.

What do I mean?

As humans, we try to find out why things happen, to make sense of it, to place it in a linear story of good and evil… this comforts us and those around us. For most humans, if they can not explain a situation they are in, they even invoke the deity card, saying, it is god’s will. Let me give you a news flash… if there is a god involved, humans need to get a new one, because there is too much violence and suffering going on. If god or gods had been hired to run this Earth to maintain this Earth… they should be re-educated about the care and maintenance of humans! Yes, the mythology supports multiple gods or super humans who influenced the past in person, but this is not the answer. It is all manipulated genetics of human body and nature… the entertainment I spoke of. That is the next thing I and my group will be working on, the uncovering of this situation to find answers, to find corrections to this malfunction, so that it ends suffering for all worlds. But first there must be a focus on the relief of suffering for all worlds as well as Earth, draw back the curtain of ignorance and motivations, refocus all worlds on the actual origin of this chaos… it will take time.

So in the human form we find ourselves in we must not waste time or energy on ‘explaining’ anything, because none of it will make sense. It would be like taking a ball of thread that was wound up as a mess and trying to unravel it, then use it somehow. That is pointless. You will not be able to explain, poverty, death, birth, results of human sex and relationships, why there are cycles to life, why is there old age, why things are out of control, why we have no say in what we do or how things are, why there is struggle every day? That is pointless to explain, and the stories and the others who have attempted to explain are pointless too. We live in each moment, that is enough to understand. We have this moment. The past is gone, the future can only be imagined. Time exists on Earth, Time on Earth is linear, Humans think in a linear fashion, Humans try to make rules out of chaos… none of this works or will work. So we as we are in these bodies, we do not have to explain or make sense of any of it. We are aliens with a purpose, we have a few memories, we are not in our element right now, we are going home soon, that is why we are awake, we are not crazy, we are not in a mass hysteria, this is not so much wishful thinking. We are not needing to believe… we know and we think. We are powerful beings and we are loved by our beloved and our worlds.

So what is the point? What should we be doing, if it is not necessary to make sense of this?

I can only tell you what I have found so far. I am not telling you what is right or wrong to do. I want you to figure out what works for you. You are and maybe from another species than me. The worlds I come from I have been told are viewed as both in a primitive form and an advanced dimensional form. That would make sense since I have the tendencies to be a healer, educator, a thinker, a problem solver, accepting of all beings, an ambassador type… a guardian. I know I am powerful and this energy I had learn to use will come back to me once again. So I protected the worlds around me as one in an advanced form, I protected the primitive, I was in love with both. There is a human saying that goes “no shadow of turning” for me that is my approach to my dealing with others. But I am also influenced by this human experience and stuck in this drama of the human environment on this wild and sometimes beautiful planet called Earth. I know once I am home, I will come back in my original form to work with this planet. The cat is out of the bag… it really is. It is fact that the humans will see the real picture soon, because that is the ‘fight’ right now, the key to human survival. There are enough of us alien types here to get that going. For whatever reason you have been sent here in the past. We are the ‘fly in the ointment’ for both the chaos placed here and the agenda of the multiple alien species involved as well as those humans in the game for profit! So you will be what you are, you will develop who you are, you will act and your actions will speak louder than words… that is a cosmic truth. You will be who and what you are. You will be going home too, you are awake. You are loved, things will become clearer and clearer.

How do you do all of this right now?

You must ask questions. I don’t mean asking questions of those around you…. ASK your questions out loud when you have them, write them down, and EXPECT ANSWERS.

I do not know how far you have evolved in communications with your beloved, with your world. I write about what this feels like in this book and in another that is on line right now. I use fiction to help you know the tools and what this communication feels like.

But you must ask your questions expecting and anticipating answers.

Your beloved will answer, then they will build on these answers to help you. They will speak to you. You are not alone. Use all tools around you to help you find answers, but remember it is NOT about BELIEF, it is all about thinking, asking and receiving your answers. Even the nature of the answers will change over time, to help you better function. Read that again, even the nature of the answers will change over time, to help you better function. You will be able to better anticipate what is ahead, and be comfortable with yourself in the skin you find yourself in. You must know there is love, love is why you are here. You consented to this in love for what your purpose was at the time you made this choice with your group. The group will never forget you. You will return to your group, they will help you do that.

Now I have not been very specific about things here, but our situation is very fluid and not specific. Why? Because we do not remember enough. Why don’t we remember enough, is because on our arrival here the rules of this planet were placed upon us, but our beloved had ways to work around this with a few memories and keep our spark, our purpose alive within us… so that when the time was right we would wake up, move ahead. The Earth has these rules of ignorance, violence, disease, birth, death. These are not universal rules, think about that. These are not universal rules. These are here to make the drama interesting and ever changing situations here in this Earth. It is not the Earth’s fault. It is the way this situation was set up due to the motives of others. You must know that not all aliens, or worlds think this right or necessary for humans. They will stop this suffering situation for humans, so that humans can make their own decisions. You are here in the mix, it doesn’t make sense to you right now, that is why it does not have to make sense. For most humans it makes perfect sense, they accept all of the chaos and suffering, these are the rules humans accept. It is a game. This game must stop. |A game is not a community, it is just a game. We as beings right now here, are understanding this, learning, and we will take this knowledge with us. We will change things either now, or as we were and are, but we will work on this in the future. We each may not be all back to work in person on this, and I don’t mean reincarnation and what not. I mean you as you are and were. You may be using your knowledge gained here to help free your own species or prevent this game plan from coming to your worlds.

Now to maybe some specifics. I have mentioned a few all ready.

How will you leave and go home? That is a burning question for me, one I am still not clear on for me personally, but I do know I WILL BE ARRIVING WITH MEMORIES INTACT AT HOME.

I have been told, either in life or in death, I will be going home. I also know as a fact humans have left Earth and live out in the outer worlds. Technology and knowledge is enough in my world that it makes it common to do what I am doing to do the missions, the work of my world.

Next it is all about vibration, you can read about this on line using Physics. Vibration of matter and energy is used to bring a person intact home. It seems like magic and it is magic. The energy, the knowledge that is available… it is the magic. That is what I know, I also have memories of it too. That is what I am told, it is an easy thing to do.

I also ask, OH MY GOD, what is the hold up?

I am who I am. I hate being here. I want to go home to rest, to know, to be with those I love and who love me. I will then be back in the knowledge of my purpose and ready to take on the next thing seen as needful to do for my world, the outer worlds and the universe.

I have been told it is all timing, it is synchronicity, it is for my protection and sanity. My beloved have said that they can keep me safe and alive here, even with my responsibilities as they are here. But they also see I am suffering. They are helping me this year to have a better environment to live within and mindset, so I don’t fall under the pressures of being a human and my tendencies of ‘all or nothing’. These tendencies saved my world, got me here, but are not helpful in surviving life intact in this body. I am being honest here with you. I am still suicidal, and I hate being here. I have never been bored, it is not in my nature, but I am bored out of my mind. I feel alone, separated physically from those I love and who love me. I feel their anguish too of this separation. But my mate is very tenacious and is very exact, good at what needs to be done for me. We argue, I cry, we move on into what it is I need to do and why I am waiting. We, our group, suffer together over where I am and what I am dealing with. But if I truly thought I was crazy and this all a fantasy… by the gods I would end it now! I am serious. I guess this is not what you felt you would find here. Doesn’t sound very supportive of life or hopeful. But I do not live hope, I live certainty, I live in communication with the beloved each moment. If I did not I would not be here to write this. I would have been gone, long dead, unknown, 5 years ago.

So that is help and what to do in a ‘nut shell’. This is all very serious and real. You are not dabbling in a belief system, the occult, with the paranormal, with alien disclosure and all that means… you are living your life with your difference. You are alien. Not alien in a negative way, but as in a living way, a species, a visitor, hidden in a human body by a choice made long ago. This has nothing to do with a religion, for profit or as a disease or mental illness. This is a reality. This is your purpose. You are loved. This has been done in love. You belong to a group, your beloved (for a lack of a better term, something we can all understand).

I felt I had to write this today. I did not allow these thoughts to drift off into the literal hysteria, the chaos, the suffering, the mind numbing reality of this world, this Earth, this birth as a human gives and enforces upon each of its victims. Yes, I will answer this, there are humans, humans who are not from an alien origin, who this is their origin and this is their world. But this world, this Earth, this humanity is being manipulated… unfortunately by many players. That is not right. Things are changing and about to change big time. So we leave the story to the humans. But for those of us here from other places, origins, groups, for differing reasons… we do have a purpose here, and we will go home back to where we are loved. So we live under the rules of humanity, until those rules are changed and the control given back to the individual human and the Earth. Gods, this all sounds crazy doesn’t it? But as you know and feel this is very real for you. I hope I have helped you to start formulating questions to make less suffering for you. I hope I have brought some ‘reality’ into your chaos as you try to survive being in human form. I hope, my hope is that you are feeling loved and know you are loved, by your group, you have not been forgotten. Things are fluid.

Will I write more to place in this ‘origin’ book? That depends upon if I find something helpful or tangible proof to give to you. I will publish this in the future, but know that this life is on-going. My pain is that I am still here. Only when I am home, standing in the presence of my mates and beloved on my world will I find vindication. Until then, I run both frustrated and amazed. I hate being here. I am listening, learning and surviving. I just hope I make it through this, not doing anything stupid or delaying of my arrival home. I live as me in this alien human body, in this alien world called Earth.

Table of Contents — Flash of Light

Flash of Light… Prologue

“Horus & His Companions” – Book I — Table of Contents

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