Gemma’s personal questions…
1st Draft… Chapter SIX…
“Horus and His Companions – The Sun The Light & The Moon”
I had waited the whole week, with my questions and experiences, until our usual lunch date.
I had been afraid, earlier in the week, that Lucia would not show up. Then with the usual date drawing closer, I somehow felt more confident she would come… that she actually wanted to. I had again, a displaced feeling of peace covering my anxiety about getting my questions answered. I thought I maybe over thinking it too. So with the warm embracing sense of being loved and accepted, was the knowing that she would not fail to come to our meeting. I really needed this to work out.
There I sat with my lap top on the patio table. The pitcher of ice tea was ready and the tumblers beside it empty. I tried to occupy my mind on the notes from our last meeting and the changes to the book she had wanted to see. She was 5 minutes late. This was worrisome right now, but typical for her. She had said in the past it was hard to get away from the house. I could see why now. She also wanted to give me plenty of time to set up, so our time was not wasted. Maybe that was the case today.
I finally heard someone walking on the gravel out front. I hoped it was not the mailman. Then the latch lifted on the garden gate. Lucia walked with her pack in hand over to me with a slight smile on her face. It was evident that she did not know what to expect either. At least I felt that at the moment. Odd I felt that, like I was being informed or told. On another level I felt it coming from her.
“Gemma, thanks for wanting to continue our editing meetings.” Lucia said, as she placed her pack on the patio table, but did not unpack it right then.
“I was afraid you would not come today. So I let it be up to you, Lucia.” I said, motioning for her to continue getting settled. I felt she was testing the waters as to her place at this table.
“Hey, just get settled. Let’s have some tea. Just catch your breath. How are you today?” I said, to break the ice, interrupting her hesitation to be seated.
Lucia began unpacking her pack, setting up her lap top and mouse, placing her notebook beside it. I poured the tea into her tumbler, trying not to give her a feel of me just sitting there occupying her space.
“I want to apologize for the way my sister acted, Gemma.” Lucia said, now settled in her chair sipping the tea.
God, I thought that is the least of my concerns right now! But if that is where she wants to start this conversation, so be it.
“Yeah, she is a bit much. What is with her?” I said.
“Well, she is my adopted sister. She came to our family through a foster care situation. I was an only child. Not surprising, in my situation. She is older than me, so likes to play the older sister role, since mother and dad are gone.” Lucia said, smiling faintly as she sat up her lap top.
I mulled that over. “What do you mean in your situation?” I then said.
“You are an only child, are you not?” Lucia said, though I knew she must be guessing.
“Yes, I am.” I said, as it then occurred to me that my dad, mother and even grandmother, as far as I knew were also an only child.
“So that is a situation.” I went on.
“Yes, it is not a requirement, but makes for a neater departure from the situation.” Lucia said, now looking directly at me.
Oh, now we were getting somewhere. Maybe into the line of questions I desperately needed to ask her in the time we had.
Still wondering if she had been just guessing about my family, or knew somehow? I said, “Let’s step back a bit. Your sister does not give off the vibe that she cares very much about you or what you are doing. I may have that all wrong. Maybe it was me being there she did not like.”
Lucia leaned back in her chair. She smiled slightly, saying, “You are right on all accounts. But without my sister, I don’t think I would be alive. Or maybe it is just an excuse, I want better for them. I feel I need to help Nicola due to her rough start in life. I don’t care much for drama. So she gets away with a lot. Her daughter is all she has. I try to help by providing a home for both of them. That is the only way I measure up with her.” Lucia’s voice trailed off.
I sat there wondering what to say next? Where should I take this honest opening of our situations?
I looked at her, offering her another glass of ice tea. “Lucia, I want to talk to you about what is happening to you. I guess I am selfish, because I believe what you tell me will help me right now. I want to say up front I don’t want to appear to be judging you. I also don’t want to be at odds with what you are doing or feeling. Like in this run in I had with your sister, I am cool with that and can handle myself. I will not work at cross purposes concerning what you are doing right now.” I said, then waited to see if that helped. Maybe helped me get the answers I was now desperate for.
Lucia looked at me and appeared relieved, said, “Gemma, I was here to get help with my book from you. Now it has gotten personal. I am here because it is the next step for me in this transition I am going through. I hope you get something out of it too. I was told you would.” Lucia then looked at me with a slight squint to her blue eyes. “What do you need to know? What has been happening to you?”
Oh my god! Like a plate of food being slammed down in front of a starving man. I had to pause. I had to think fast where to begin, but still feel my way through this offer with her.
“Lucia, how much time do we have? Because I want to make sure I answer any of your questions too.” I said, to set the tone.
“I have as long as you need, Gemma. I made dinner for my Nicola. I told her I would be late and her not wait up for me. Of course she grumbled, but my life as it is is not hers. Don’t be careful with me, just tell me what you want.” Lucia said, sitting very relaxed in the chair, pulling her sweater about her for comfort.
I decided to ask her questions about what she had just brought up. Especially since the answer to these may make it so I would not need to ask my own questions. Questions, which ran into the highly personal for me.
“Lucia, what do you mean about the situation that you are in? Am I in the same situation?” I said, trying to appear just as relaxed as her with my poker face on.
“My situation is similar to your own, but there are some differences. We are both obviously here right now today because of decisions made and consents given.” Lucia said, looking at me hoping to be understood.
She went on, saying, “I made a decision that had to be made. It landed me here. I have always known I was different. I had memories from childhood of who I was. Adult memories that a child should not have. When I tried to share these with my mother through my drawings, she would scold me due to the number of nude males and females present, reacting so anatomically correct too.”
I thought that over. “Then what happened? How did you know what it was all about?” I said.
“I would have dreams, that leaked into the day time in the form of day dreams. There was one person, who was central to all of these dreams, his name is Paul. I knew from an early age, that we met as young adults, had a long drawn out courtship and then we mated. This I remember knowing by age 6 in this life time. I thought it was an elaborate heart felt story I made up. I never told my mother. But she would tell me I had a very active imagination. She also told me it was not nice to draw nude people.” Lucia said, with a curl of her nose.
I wanted her to get to the point. I sensed a break through coming. Something I could use to figure out what was happening to me. I said, “So who did you find out you were? How did you get here?”
Lucia said, “Let me talk about you, Gemma. That would make more sense right now, since that is what you want.”
I was again dumbfounded. I said, “Ok.”
“Remember the vision of sorts I told about? The one with the cat people in it?” Lucia said, profoundly serious.
“Yes, I do the one where you said I had seduced your friend somehow.” I said, not feeling all that comfortable with that image now stuck in my head.
“Well, as I and Alec lay in the bed offered us in a hut off in the opposite direction. And of course we were being watched. So we acted very focused upon each other. I and Alec due to magick were able to monitor our companion as to his predicament. Alec was keen on making sure Brad had what he needed. We watched as the negotiations unfolded between the princess and Brad.” Lucia said, very focused internally from what I could tell by her eyes.
“What were you negotiating with this princess?” I said. Yes, I have to admit, now I was curious.
“Brad was asking her for help. The conflict with the dark ones at this point could not be avoided, there was going to be a confrontation. If not for a few years down the road, but it was coming. Alec saw it and we were preparing for it. So Brad was asking where the princess stood. Was she part of the union with the dark ones for her people? Was she hoping for a neutral stance. Was there anything we could do for her to help her at this time to keep her people intact in their world in anticipation of the conflict?” Lucia said, now, appearing back in the moment.
“What was the alternative? I mean, what did Alec anticipate as the outcome?” I said, feeling odd again I knew what to ask on this crazy topic.
“I know. It is the reason I am here. I prevented it. I refused to give in to the slavery of my people by the dark one. Not all dark ones wanted the conflict, but their queen was set on it. She wanted slavery and the destruction of what she saw as useless and irritating. She wanted revenge upon those who up held choice and nurturing of the indigenous peoples of many worlds. If she could enslave my peoples, killing with torture those I had loved and who were my family… it would be her ultimate goal.” Lucia said, with her hands folded in her lap sitting straight up. “My life would be nothing without them.”
“So what happened to you?” I said, feeling uneasy, as if I had something to do with what happened.
“I was killed in the battle, but not before I took out the dark ones’ queen. I spent my self with my beloveds watching me. It was an option, that Alec had planned, but hoped I would never take. The energies were pounding, many died on that conjured mountain top. I won by giving back all she poured out through the air toward me. I was good at that. I marked her with my energy and it flowed back to her in her lust for blood and power over me. I spent my self, but not before she died. I saw Alec’s eyes as I knew he would react with what we had planned as I closed my eyes, assured no enslavement would happen now.” Lucia said, now appearing pale and gripping the patio chair’s arms with her thin small hands.
In a quiet voice she said, “I am here now waiting to be taken by the hand by my beloved. He awoke me to the truth, after I planned to take my life in the summer of last year. I still wait with voices and dull obscure memories in my chest and head. I had told my Swamiji that if I had my third eye opened I would go mad. I think that is happening, except for the love and the sense the voice makes to me. I am living between two worlds. I hold no hope of returning, because it is not rational that any of this, that I know, actually happened. Anyway, regardless, I know my peoples both Odian and Aquaeous are free. The dark ones too. I may end up living out my life here in this world. I may never see Alec or Paul my companions again.” Lucia said, with tears rolling out of her dark eyes and dripping off of her slender chin.
I think she saw how shocked I looked at her physical response to the telling of her story.
“To answer your question, Gemma. You, that night, united our peoples together. You vowed to remain neutral as a people. Avoiding the dark ones’ ire. You also, while using seduction, to find out the purpose of our visit from Brad. Did not know that he had a purpose of his own. Aquaeous males of the Promise never make love without being in love with the ones they have sex with. Brad, had studied you and read all of your words and correspondences. He had worked through Alec and his magick to find out if he would be a good fit with you. He opened his heart to a woman who was a committed leader of her people. He made love to you, to become lost in you and become one with you. You came as a princess for your people, doing what came natural to your species and left in love with a male who was in love with you.” Lucia said, now making it very personal. She had pricked my heart, the love there that ached.
“How do you know what it is I feel and question my self about?” I said, almost out of breath.
“Because I was there. I gave you one of my companions. It is you he wants and is coming for.” Lucia said, she seemed powerful at this point as she looked at me.
I settled back in my chair, wasting time sipping my iced tea. I was both relieved and angry right then. What a strange sensation. And my damned neck hurt. I reached my hand back and rubbed it. I apparently rubbed it too long, because it attracted Lucia’s attention.
“Your neck hurting you, Gemma?” Lucia said, now standing up and rummaging through her pack that sat on the glass table top.
“Yeah, it hurts. I have had quite a strain lately. It hurts into my shoulder, especially where I can not reach.” I said, almost complaining to her about it.
She came over and placed some oddly scented oil on the palms of her hands from a blue tinted bottle. She looked at me, as if for permission to touch me. I nodded to her to proceed, with what ever she had wanted to do. She smooth out the oil on my neck moving up into my hair line and down to my shoulder tip. Then after doing some amazing deep muscle work, that surprisingly took off most the pressure pain I was feeling there, bent over again looking at me closely. I nodded again my consent. She unbutton the top two buttons of my blouse and then smoothed more oil down my shoulder deep into my back. Especially the spot over the scapula, that damn spot I could not reach. She rubbed. As she rubbed it felt like a different pressure came to the area, as if there were several pairs of hands rubbing the area until the soreness left.
It was then that Lucia, looked closely face to face as she leaned over my shoulder from her work there. I nodded almost imperceptible I felt to her. She leaned closer and placed a warm light kiss on my mouth. Then she pulled back, walked over to her chair putting the oil away in her pack. I mulled that over too in my head. I wanted to know what that met, but deep in my chest I already knew what it met. We were intimates and had cared for each other many times in the past. Though neither of us had intact memories, we both still knew who we were to one another, even at this point.
I asked her, now because I needed to know. “Lucia why did you know my neck and shoulder hurt?”
“Alec, he told me where he placed the sigils on you while you were injured after the battle. He never intended to sigil you for the purpose of sending you here, but you were close to death. Brad wanted it for you. And most importantly your people and family demanded it, since you had come to the battle willingly as a shaman to heal the injured. Your people had been neutral, but knew if the battle was not won that slavery would come eventually to their world too.” Lucia said, as she sat down in the chair. “You died of your injuries, days later. The sigils don’t work the same as the ones I bare and had practiced with, while alive and in preparation for battle use. I can tell you more later. Let’s just say we are communicated with and kept track by the use of these sigils, that we feel in our bodies.” Lucia said, almost sympathetically to me.
I was at that moment, living somewhere between disbelief and hope. I felt out of balance with the conflicting feelings I was having. I only knew there were too many real events happening for all of this to be imagined. Especially, since it was happening to both of us in similar ways. I had not asked for this, but it was happening to me. Because of it I had been kissed by another woman and I had both anticipated it and enjoyed it too.
I said, “Lucia, I have to tell you what has happened to me since I was out at your place last week. Pretty serious stuff, I can not explain. I also want to ask you about this Brad you mentioned.”
She looked at me in an emotional state I could not read or maybe I did not want to read at that point. She said, “Brad is your mate. He is the one working with you now. If that is what you have been wrestling with Gemma. There is more. Let me hear first what your main concerns are.”
“Dreams, so many odd and painful dreams.” I said, as I sat there blown away at this point.